This book's full title is "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion." It was brought to my attention by the founders of my sons' school, and for that I thank them. This book explains Rosenberg's philosophy and model for communicating with others in a compassionate, nonviolent way. It explores the profound subtleties of the messages behind the words we use, and examines how to listen, truly listen, to the messages being sent to us by the people we communicate with, as well as the messages we are sending.
In Chapter 1 Rosenberg begins, "Believing that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate manner, I have been preoccupied most of my life with two questions. What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?"
The Nonviolent Communication ("NVC") model's main precept is to train oneself to focus carefully on words as they're received, and to examine the speaker's feelings and needs, along with one's own, in a nonjudgmental way. The model is comprised of four components: observation, feelings, needs, and request. The next level of engagement involves expressing oneself honestly using the four components, and receiving empathically using the four components. I'll leave the details for your reading pleasure; Rosenberg does an excellent job of walking through the model, its theory and history, its application, and its potential for profound and positive change. His writing style is engaging, friendly, straightforward, and sincere. He relates his own experiences as a youth, a clinical psychologist, and his many world-wide efforts to promote nonviolent resolution of disputes and conflicts, thereby providing a good balance between theory and examples of NVC in action.
Rosenberg's NVC model works in both directions of human communication: us listening compassionately, and us speaking compassionately. NVC can be applied in any communication scenario, whether with a child, significant other, sibling, parent, business partner, client, neighbor, stranger... anyone and everyone you communicate with.
I highly recommend this book to you. The NVC tools and Rosenberg's insights assist me every day, and have profoundly enriched my interpersonal communications.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion
You can reach Lee Hudspeth at:
mailto:LeeHudspeth@TheNakedPC.com
